Woman Seeking Beef Seeks Similar

I've decided that my ambition to own a steer my not be totally realistic. So I just placed an ad on the Craig's List personals under "Strictly Platonic" asking if someone wants to go in on it with me. Probably this will be eagerly interpreted as some kind of extreme fetish, as most of the ads in "strictly platonic" appear to be for prostitutes.

I think my lard guy (soon to be my beef guy) is getting tired of me. I always show up with a few bucks and say, "Oh my goodness, I only have six dollars left--gosh darn it--well what can I get for that?" And then he gives me a deal. But last time he said, "Why don't you come here first? We'll hold it for you while you shop." So I asked him to about buying a steer, mostly to butter him up, but now I think I may actually do it.

You don't have to buy a whole steer. You can just buy a lot of meat all at once, and get an okay deal. Like 50 pounds (various cuts) for $300. But that's still six bucks a pound, a lot more than I want to spend. He said the more you buy the better deal you get. That's why I'm looking for partners.

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The lead attorney on the murder trial gave me a recipe for Chicken Paprikas that is totally wonderful. He's a great defense attorney, a bass player and a good cook. Also frighteningly good looking. Beef works just as well in this recipe.

Chicken Paprikas* (just the basics)

Ingredients: (serves 4-6)
3 tblspns. bacon fat
1 onion (diced)
2 cloves garlic (diced)
1 whole cut up chicken/skinned
2 tblspns. Hungarian Paprika (Szeged brand)
1 tsp of which can be Szeged hot paprika
½ tsp caraway seeds
pepper (to taste)
salt (to taste–careful to account for salt in bacon fat and broth)
1 cup chicken broth (depending on amount of water in chicken and potatoes)
3 medium sized potatoes, cut into 2 inch chunks

Cooking: (use med-large cooking pot)
1– heat oil and saute onions and garlic
2– add the paprika and caraway seeds to onions, stir;
3– toss meat in, brown;
4– toss in the potatoes and briefly brown them as well;
5– add chicken broth (should just cover the meat and potatoes–not more);
6– cover and cook on low heat for 1 to 1 ½ hours;**

Serve:
There will be ample sauce/broth depending how generous you were with your
liquids. The starch in the potatoes should thicken things up a bit. Use a little
potato flower if too runny. Serve in large soup bowl and sop up the sauce with
your choice of bread (that’s why you want some sauce instead of a thick gravy)
*recommend Hungarian cucumber salad as side dish
** cooking time: once the leg muscle starts pulling away from the bone, you’re
about done and don’t let the potatoes get too mushy

My note: it's much better the next day. And the next week.

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Final Tip: When making the Jim Lahey slow rise bread, if you have no bran or cornmeal to keep it from sticking, grits work just fine. (Uncooked grits, to state the obvious.)